Even Doctors Need Healing
by PulcherAnima
Summary: Eleven/River Song/Melody Pond. There comes a time when even a Time Lord, all knowing as he is, needs advice. Even a Doctor needs fixing at some point. Rated M for later Chapters
1. Chapter 1

**Hi! Hi! Sorry to all of you guys waiting on my other two stories! I absolutely had to get this one down on paper and up here. So here is the start of another story. I don't own Doctor Who, but I do adore it. Shall we be off then?**

Music filled the console room of the TARDIS. The Doctor was busy at the controls, tinkering with a few things while the blue box drifted lazily through space. Amy and Rory Pond were busy chattering away about whatever came to mind, joking and having fun. Really they were the picture of domesticity, and yet here they were on the TARDIS. He simply had to chuckle at that thought as he waved his sonic screwdriver over some wires to take a few readings. The day was turning out to be a rare lazy day, one free of running and drama. Even he liked to take a break from the daily struggle of life and death and aliens wanting to lop his head off. The Ponds seemed to agree, none of them questioned him at all so he suspected they'd needed the break too. It was remarkable how natural they just seemed to fit in, and he'd probably miss them if they for any reason left his side again.

It was agony for him, they day they left him, or more precisely, the day he left them. When he "died" on that beach, it was horrible seeing the look on their face. River however was not phased, she knew he was alive, but The Ponds didn't for a long while. Even when River finally told them the truth, he still had not gone to them, not for a while because he couldn't. The Universe needed to forget him. The Time Lord was glad his friends didn't wait for him and carried on with their lives. They are brilliant which is why he picked them to be his companions. Really there is hope for the Human Race after all which makes him very happy, so happy he couldn't help the small smile which spread across his face.

"What're you smiling about over there you raggedy man?" Amy's voice startles him from his thoughts. In fact he jumped just the slightest bit. Amy stares at him raising her eyebrow at him, "You alright over there? You're acting strange today… Well ever since you came back from the dead…."

"Perfectly normal. I'm the definition of normal," The Doctor gives them his trademark smile. For now it seems to ease their fears, but sooner or later his little quirky remarks won't suffice. He snapped two cords together causing a bit of a spark and a few alarmed gasps from his companions but all is well. He pats the TARDIS affectionately, "There now Sexy, good as new." Amy giggles at the name and then resumes her little game or whatever it was they were doing. The Doctor turns and leans over the railing, watching them. His eyes are just brimming with affection, but inwardly he wishes that he could be with his wife. It wasn't possible at the moment. He knew River needed to spend at least a few nights in Storm cage. Before his dear wife finally convinced him to go get her parents, River had broken out of there every day just to be with him. It slightly unnerved the Time Lord just how well she could read him like a book, but he didn't want her to know that. Despite all of the hints he tried to drop to convince her he was fine, she wouldn't hear of it. In fact all she did was pester him, trying to get him to talk about his feelings. It wasn't outward and direct all the time, but they knew each other well enough to get the hint, the real hint after all she knew his rules. Rule number one: The Doctor lies. It was at those times he wished she didn't know him so well but even still, he wouldn't have it any other way.

Amy and Rory suddenly turned to him. He stared at them giving him one of his little quirky looks. "What? I haven't done a thing you know. I don't even have a hat on. I've been good."

"Well since you put it that way…" Amy smiled right back and him, just beaming and radiating happiness. From what he heard from River, his death had hit her hard. The Doctor hated what he did to her; all that pain he caused her just broke his heart, both of them. At the very least, he didn't screw up her life as he had his past companions but even if he did, somehow he didn't think she'd care or even blame him. That knowledge kept the ancient alien going though one day he felt not even that would help him but he didn't think about that.

Both of The doctor's companions suddenly ran up the stairs from the lower level and began playfully elbowing him. He looked from one to the other, a bit lost. It only earned him a giggle from Amy and a bit of a nervous laugh from Rory. Rory was a bit weary and shy it seemed. He had his moments being the Last Centurion as well as a Roman, but even so, he was still a bit of a quiet easy going, but shy man. Those two, Rory and Amy complimented one another brilliantly.

After a bit of the playfulness Amy finally spoke up, "Since we're not doing anything, Rory and I want to go back home for a bit." Those words oddly enough hit him hard in the chest. Maybe he was reading too much in to it, but he panicked for a bit. It was invisible to a human, but those green eyes of his lost a bit of mirth. Even so, his brave face was still on.

Fixing his tweed jacket he spun on his heels and stroke over to the console, entering in the coordinates. "Of course! Always good to go back and assure your folks that you're still of this world eh? How long do you want to stay? The Universe is pretty quiet right now plenty time for a bit of an extended visit if you like." Despite having suggested it, the thought of Amy and Rory staying any longer than their usual three days made him uneasy and oddly depressed. Without River Song, he relied on his two favorite humans to entertain and keep him company. Since he had spent five years without them waiting for The universe to forget all about him, he found that he had time to think. Sure River Song was there. Dear Melody, he probably drove her mad those years. By the time he did break down and go seek out Rory and Amy, she pretty much didn't want to be around him. Being a Time Lord, one does pick up on small gestures, little quirks that give away those unspoken feelings. Oh he knew River wanted, no, NEEDED her space. No matter how much love one has, everyone needs their space. No one knows that better than The Doctor. Even he has days where he'll shoo away his companions and spend some time alone in his TARDIS or he'll sneak away to one of many little hide a ways on the TARDIS and scream when he's frustrated. Sometimes he just lays there thinking and staring off in to space. When none of those seem to calm him, sometimes while his companions slept he landed the TARDIS on some quiet little planet and went for a walk.

Rory spoke up this time, bringing The Doctor out of his thoughts, "A month this time if you don't mind. Forgot we promised to spend a month with them for the Summer. Don't want to break our word. Marked it on the calendar we brought. Kind of glad we brought it…"

"I was wondering what you needed the calendar for. Fair enough then," he guided the TARDIS to Leadworth and made a smooth landing. "Right then one month it is. Have fun." The smile on The Doctor's face didn't quite match his eyes, but those two were mostly oblivious to it. If they had any doubts, they weren't voiced and they didn't act as if they had any. The Time Lord rather liked it that way and he cheerfully sent his two friends off to spend time with their family. In the span of a few seconds he was alone in his TARDIS.

Strolling over to the console, The Doctor rested his hand on the console. "Just you and me again eh sexy? Now then what should we do? I hesitate to leave; don't want to come back a day or more late… Better to stay put here and just wait. Sure I'll find something to do, right?" Even if the ship couldn't speak, the lights and things flashed in understanding. Groaning inwardly the two hearted alien dressed in old fashioned clothes made his way down the halls of the ship and began to search for things to keep his mind occupied.

**There now I got three stories to regularly update… Going to be busy. Well, I wouldn't have any other way. Let me know what you guys think. Reviews encourage more ya know? Reviews are cool…**


	2. Chapter 2

**Alright made it to chapter 2. Cheese Nips and random TV as well as an iPod on random makes for inspiration! Let's get this thing going! By the way, I keep forgetting how old the doctor is in season six. Ah well, if it's not right I'll simply fix it later. I did set this after season six, but like I said I'll correct it later. It's not really that important…**

It's amazing how boring a never ending ship can be. The Doctor had a month to kill on Earth in his TARDIS. This meant he had thirty days, thirty human days, thirty human days according to "the slow path" to kill. The Doctor roamed the halls of the TARDIS. Already he was getting bored and it had only been two days since Amy and Rory left his side. By the second day he had read most of the books on his shelf as well as taken several swims in the pool, cooking, and fixing any problems he missed with the TARDIS as well as improving things that weren't working so well. Now he found himself sitting in the console room of the TARDIS staring up at the old girl.

"Just you and me again Sexy," he smiles up at her, speaking affectionately. He reached out and brushed his fingers over the controls, "I just wished it wasn't so… boring. Don't get me wrong, I love you Sexy, but there's only so much one can do in a box that's bigger on the inside. Plus you can't talk back to me… And human contact… The touch and feel of another warm body, nothing beats that." He smiled sadly and wishfully up at his sturdy blue box. The TARDIS knew him, they were connected, but that wasn't enough. The one time the TARDIS had been human, it was the most shocking, yet happiest day of his life. No, the happiest day of his life had been when he married River, that was the next happiest, or was it the other way around? He hadn't quite settled that debate in his head. Both girls were important to him equally. He didn't favor one; he loved them both with both his hearts. River was his lover, his wife; and the TARDIS a piece of his home Gallifrey.

The TARDIS hummed and he stared up at her, "yes Sexy I know. You're important to me too. We both know that. I'm just bored-I know! I'll go exploring and see if I can find new rooms I haven't yet been in before. You do know how to throw unexpected surprises at me!" The Doctor jumped up, fixing his tweed jacket and bow tie before excited running down the hallways. He randomly took turns, going down hallways before he reached one he hadn't ever been in before. He smiled, his hearts racing with a bit of anticipation. Nine hundred and fourteen years and he still found new rooms in his TARDIS. He oozed excitement as he made his way down this new hallway and opened the door. He cautiously took a few steps in. Sometimes the rooms were empty and other times they were dangerous. One time a few hundred years ago he had stumbled on one and it had this nasty carnivorous plant in it. Needless to say he didn't like plants for a long while. The plant nearly devoured him, and he had to have an allergy to the pollen it carried. For days he had ticks, nervous twitches to be exact, as well as a rash and he had no motor coordination. Now again he was exploring his ship and he planned to be a bit more cautious.

To his disappointment, the first room was empty. He turned and walked out, going back down the hallway. When he reached the turn he had taken, he discovered the TARDIS had shifted the hallways. He smiled and took a left this time since the last one had been a right. Then two rights, one left turn, straight for five minutes, then a weirdly curvy hallway, one flight of stairs going up, then one right and one left brought him to another room. He stared at, getting a bit of an ominous feeling from it. He silently debated whether or not to open the door considering the very strange path he took to get here, but Sexy did rearrange the hallways and this was the outcome of seemingly random turns and what not, though he knew that nothing truly random happened in the universe. Shrugging he decided to open the door anyway because he was curious and poking his nose in things was his best trait/skill.

Slowly The Time Lord pushed the door open and was greeted with a flood of water. He stared as the tidal wave headed for him and turned to run only to be swept down the path, down the stairs then straight down the hallway, which the TARDIS had OH SO GRACIOUSLY rearranged for him. After a few feet he stopped. With a groan the Time Lord sat up and glared at the ceiling. "Are you trying to entertain me or kill me Sexy?" Comically he flailed his arms as the lights blinked. The TARDIS hummed in what he took for amusement and then trudged down the hallway, taking a few more turns before coming up on an old console room from one of his past TARDIS forms. It was then he remembered that the TARDIS saved those when she remodeled after his last regeneration which had her running on smoke for a bit. The Doctor took a step in the room and slowly walked around, taking in each detail. How many times had he saved the world in this old console room? How many times had he promised all of time and space to a human only to screw up their life? It wasn't just any old console room; it was the one from his previous two regenerations. Such fond memories, as well as some equally painful and sad memories slammed in to him. A small smile and a few tears presented themselves before he turned on his heel and trudged down the hallways, which were once again shifted, and made his way to his room. Once there he changed out of his soaking wet clothes into dry ones, which were oddly the same as the ones he just changed out of, and made his way to the console room.

"Alright that wasn't so bad Sexy," The Doctor straightened his bow tie, a TARDIS blue one and then stared at the empty console room. With a sigh he ran his hand through his brown mop of hair and started to stroll to the door. "I know! I'll go for a walk. Walks are always good. Everyone needs to get out some time, eh old girl?" Only silence greeted him this time. "I'll take that as a 'yes' and I'll see you in a bit." The two hearted alien made his way to the door, but stopped just before he opened it and gave the TARDIS a wink, "Oh and I WILL stay out of trouble." With that he stepped out of the blue box and made his way down the street for a walk.

**Well it's a shorter chapter, but I was bored! Tried to make it a bit fun, gotta have a little humor and fun in there. Throw out some ideas if you got any! See ya guys at my next update!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Here we are at chapter 3! Sorry for the bit of a wait. I had a little bit of trouble with this one. I hope it's worth the wait! Let's proceed with chapter 3! Engage!**

How The Doctor managed to stay out of trouble was beyond him. One week has elapsed and he has discovered five new rooms in his TARDIS, fixed, broken, and repaired many cables and upgraded many of the TARDIS' matrices and systems. During his few walks he's discovered a coffee shop, but he hates coffee, a clothing store, but they had nothing he liked, and a diner. The diner was a very nice fancy place. He often stopped in for a bite to eat, occasionally. Well, more like twice, but who's counting? Most of the waiters flocked his table constantly asking if he needed or wanted anything. Usually he smiled and told them no thank you, but that didn't deter them from slipping their phone numbers in with his bill and what not. A few even brazenly outright told him what they wanted. Apparently the blush in his face and his reactions only encouraged him more. That's when he decided to avoid that diner as often as possible despite the tasty eats they had. At the very least he could tell Amy and River that women preferred his look, bowtie and all. The look on their face would be absolutely horrified, or amused, or a combination of both. He quite looked forward to telling them and showing them how many numbers he got and all the lovely comments about how handsome he looked.

Right now however he was cooped up in his TARDIS on the verge of tears from boredom and loneliness. Really how much more could he do? What he needed was an adventure, or at the very least, someone to talk to. He thought about calling a past companion and hanging out with them, but they had their lives and he had left them to it. What right did he have to pop up whenever he wanted and disturb them? Most of them left because they wanted to, or had other obligations, or he just dropped them off without a goodbye. Then there were ones like Donna and Rose who's lives he screwed up. Rose was trapped in a parallel reality which he sealed himself, and Donna could never remember him or else the Time Lord in her would kill her. The more he sat there waiting on Amy and Rory to return the more he wondered why he bothered picking up companions only to lose them. Sooner or later Amy and Rory would want to settled down permanently and would ask him to leave them be. Then once again he would be alone like he is now sitting somewhere in his TARDIS or on some grand adventure with no one to share it with.

Except River. River was still in his life but he knew one day she would meet a younger version of him, one who did not recognize her and she will die there in some stupid library with killer piranhas that hide in the shadows. Thinking of that broke his already cracked hearts even more. There was some sort of curse on him as a Time Lord for everything he loves leaves him, or is ripped away from him and he hated it. Speaking of River, he thought about seeing her. It hasn't been long, but surely she couldn't still want to be away from him? Surely she had that out of her system and would come and spend time with him? He had said he wouldn't leave, but sitting around in the TARDIS on earth was simply driving him crazy. It has only been a week and already he was in the throes of a mental and emotional breakdown and he wasn't going to let himself continue down that dark path. A Time Lord does not have mental breakdowns. No, they step back and think logically about the situation. Who cares if he's five minutes or a day late? Amy and Rory would understand won't they? He hoped so, but even still, his hand hesitated to pull the lever and send the little blue box in to space. Looks like he wasn't quite ready to leave this spot yet.

Letting out a sigh, The Time Lord stepped back from the console and looked up at the cylinder that was the engine of the TARDIS, "What am I going to do? Why am I always stuck here and left out in the cold? I'm bored and lonely… Maybe I shouldn't have made River so upset. I could apologize to her, but she was adamant on not seeing me for quite some time. I don't know how long that means though. If I take too long, she'll probably be angry." With a groan, The Doctor stepped back another step and then flopped down in one of the seats. "Maybe she was right in that I need to realize just how precious and meaningful my friends are, but I already know and value them! What else is there? Stupid stupid me." He stood up, fixed his clothing, including straightening his blue bowtie and turned going down one of the hallways. "Sitting there won't fix the problem. I'll just have to deal with for them to come back." He pushed open the door to the library and rummaged through several books until he found one he actually had not read. He remembered Amy saying something about it to him. He promised her he'd read it and well now he had plenty of time to read. After picking a nice plush comfy chair, he crossed one leg over the other and set the book in his lap. He began to read but as he did his mind also began to drift back to that period when he and River had the whole universe to themselves on the TARDIS. Something about the story just triggered him to think about her.

"_Hello Sweetie," River cooed in his ear. Usually the greeting was flirtatious but now that they were married, it was sweeter, loving. In the end that red haired she devil got what she wanted. She snared him and he loved every bit of the thought. He turned to face her, just in time for him to be ambushed as her mouth crashed right in to his, forcing him to take a step back. A tongue forced its way in to his mouth, taking control and tasting every bit of his mouth. The Doctor fumbled with his hands before settling on River's hips, pulling her in closer to him. When they broke she smirked to herself looking mighty proud. That fiery red haired woman just loved catching him off his guard, but that was the thing he loved about her, that spirit which she inherited from her mother, his best friend, Amelia Pond._

"_River, dear River, what are you doing here?" Collecting himself quickly, he turned to face his wife. "Aren't you currently serving time in Stormcage for my murder? You can't just break out whenever you want-Well you could, but I wouldn't recommend it." The Doctor regarded her with amusement as well as love. He was feeling a bit lonely, but he wouldn't admit that to her. She'd never let it go, but at the same time she'd understand. He didn't doubt that, but she'd tease him for hours, no, days about it._

"_I got bored," she moved closer to him and draped an arm around his neck, "Take me somewhere fun. Besides, you're probably bored and lonely in here." The Doctor smiled and gave her one quick, but passionate kiss before fiddling around with the console, punching in coordinates and then pulled the lever. "So where are we now? Have you done that planet with the singing trees? What was it called? __Oh! __Cantocopaci, that was the name of it."_

_The Doctor stared at River for a moment before smiling, „No I haven't been there yet. Did you want to go?" River smiled and started messing with some of the levers and buttons. The Doctor this as a yes and untangled himself long enough to go around ont he other side, pulling a few things. He pulled one major lever and the TARDIS began to take off, hurling through the time vortex. For ocne he skillfully landed the TARDIS nicely on the planet Cantocopaci and the Time Lord walked over to the door, standing there smirking. This was going to start out as a good day for once. They were on a peaceful planet and they were about to see singing trees. Well the singing trees were impressive, but not really impressive although now that River was here, he could make it a date. Yes, a date, the Time Lord rather liked the sound of that. River started walking towards him and he smiled. Holding out his hand, River took it and he pushed the door open, guiding her out._

_The scene that greeted their eyes was magnificent. The forest was everything they had heard it to be. A gentle breeze was blowing through the forest in front of them. Right now they were in a small field just out side of the singing forest. The trees were beautiful from what they could currently see of them. Some had flowers and some didn't. There were different kinds of trees there, some with beautiful emerald green leaves while some had a stunning bright red. It was beautiful. Carefully The Doctor took River's hand in his, holding on to it tight, perhaps a little too tight, but he didn't want her to go, didn't want to lose her. She was all he had right now, all he permitted himself to indulge in. With limited entertainment becuase he was avoiding civilized planets, inhabited planets, and Amy and Rory, he didn't have many choices. Well he did, but he was trying to stay low key. River tugged her hand away, or tried, but he only tightened his grip as he gently pulled her along to their destination._

„_Sweetie.. You're holding on to my hand a little too tightly." The Doctor looked over at her. He let go of her hand, dropped it and walked beside her. „I didn't say let go of my hand. You're so shy," she took his hand again. That smile was on her face as it had been for the past few years, but it wasn't the same. Something about it was different, then again he hadn't exactly been himself. Even still, he never expected River to get that upset over his recent trend towards depression, then again, things had started getting a little frayed between them. River no longer spent days on the TARDIS, but rather a day, maybe two before she decided to go back to Stormcage._

„_Sorry," He held her hand this time, but barely put any pressure in it. He heard River sigh and that meant she was growing tired of him already. Her patience with him wasn't the same as it used to be, which only fueled his fear that she would slip away from him. The walked a in silence for a while before River just completely withdrew her hand from his, which hurt him, struck him hard in his hearts. As usual he didn't show it on his face but hid it behind his usual good cheer. „Right then! We're almost there. The songs they sing are so beautiful. They don't have an actual language, but the beauty of it is in the emotion. It's sort of like opera only without words. We'll hear it once we get closer. It's magnificent. You're going to love it." He picked up the pace and led the way up to the forest. It took the two time travelers a few minutes before they found a nice fairly clear path to follow and then The Doctor took River's hand in his and began to lead her through the forest. It was wehn they were aproximately in the heart of that forest that he spun her around and kissed her. Oh for once he had made a move on her, and he put all of his passion in to that kiss, communicating through the action the love he had for her. The surprise and happines on her face was all he needed to see when he pulled back. Then he pulled her close to him and leaned in forward whispering in her ear, „I love you Melody, my River. I always will, don't you ever doubt that for once." Taking her hand in his again, he resumed their walk through that forest listening to the trees as they sang._

_The planet wasn't inhabited, at least not at the time they went to it. It was magnificent just being with River and the trees. The sky was a beautiful blue, like that of an ocean, a greenish blue. It was simply breathtaking. However that was the last date that they went on, the last time Rive could really tolerate his company. Perhaps they were gong through a phase, The Doctor sure hoped so. Every couple needs their space, so when River told him whenthey returned that he needed to find Amy and Rory and give her her space, he agreed. The Time Lord only had ehr best interests in mind. However, he was happy they finally went somewhere and spent some time together. It reminded himt hat they could still work, that there was some love. Even still, that didn't stop River from leaving him. At least in his mind she walked away. Perhaps that was the start of the cracks in his defenses. He couldn't be sure because it was an on going constant process. He needed something, though what that was, he wasn't quite sure. The Doctor needed something he couldn't figure out and that to made him unsure and uneasy for he ahted not knowing things._

The Doctor stood up from the chair. He put the book down and stood. His stomach was protesting and he remembered he hadn't eaten anything yet. The book was interesting so far and a fairly good distraction. Though it did for some reason trigger a few memories of River. Somehow it reminded him of her. Maybe that's because a character in it is exactly like River only without the Time Lord DNA and the fact that she wasn't in jail, at least not yet. He had a feeling she was going to end up there. Smiling to himself, The Time Lord made his way down a corridor and headed for the kitchen to make something to eat. There wasn't really anything in particular he wanted. He settled for something quick and easy to make, not really feeling up to going out, plus he felt a little lazy. With that mind set, he started to pull through the first cabinet he got to and found a box of ceareal.

„Hello," he studied and raised an eyebrow in curiosity. „Never had this before. It must be something Amy and Rory brought with them. Cereal, eh? Might be something to try. It take little effort." The doctor grabbed a bowl and some milk and fixed the cereal. It wasn't exactly his thing, but it solved the problem and he soon found himself back in the library picking the book up right where he left off.

**So another chapter is done. Slowly painting a picture and moving the story along. All is not happy in the world of The Doctor. Don't worry, all will get better soon. I hope the singing trees weren't too...weird? Well that was the first thing that came to mind, haha.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Here we go, another chapter! This one was so difficult to write. I've rewritten it so many times… I hope you all enjoy it and it isn't too bad, or whatever. I never seem to be happy with it. Maybe I worry too much…?**

Despite the guilty feeling he for some reason got, he reached up and started the TARDIS engines. The coordinates were already punched in and he shook with nervousness. That in itself was quite an unusual feeling, one he had not felt in a long time. The last time he felt that it was when he stood in front of the time vortex and awakened as a Time Lord. Now there were butterflies in his stomach and both hearts beat rapidly. Even so, The Doctor guided the TARDIS in to a smooth landing in Stormcage. A week and three days had past and he wanted to see River, desperately wanted to be with her. Only he wanted to surprise her, so he put the engines on silent, taking off the breaks for once. Oh he hoped she would be proud of him, hoped she wasn't still angry after all the arguments, nagging, and whining he did to her before he visited and picked up Rory and Amy after she stormed off for the final time.

In no time at all the TARDIS landed in a safe hidden, but nearby location. The Time Lord took a moment to stand in front of the mirror in the TARDIS wardrobe to check his self. His hair was all neat as usual for him; he fixed the crooked TARDIS blue bowtie as well as his shirt. Once he was neat looking and not the raggedy doctor as Amy so nicely put it, he went up to his room, picking up the chocolates and flowers he had spent an hour deciding on and made his way out the TARDIS doors. The Doctor wasn't entirely sure that River was the kind of woman who would like such a cliché gesture, but he didn't know what else he could do. Romance wasn't exactly his forte. 900+ years of living and he still sucked at romancing when he meant to. How is it he could send mixed signals like he did with Amy, but when it came to actually doing it he seemed to just fail at it? About the only thing he was good at was flirting, but then again he was good at talking and River provided him with ample opportunity to bounce off of, so that partially explained everything. Needless to say, he was a nervous wreck and when he was, he tended to say stupid things, well not exactly stupid, but things that ruined perfectly good moments. Right now The Doctor's Time Lord brain was whirling and thinking, well it was always thinking, but this time it wasn't thinking in a good way. He had no clue what he would say when he saw her after their time away from each other.

That being said, he rounded the corner and slowly walked right up to River's cell. River was looking oh so beautiful and concentrating on a book she was reading. She hadn't noticed him yet, which was good for him at least and so he walked right up to the cell and cleared his throat before whispering ever so sensually, "Hello Sweetie." That got River's attention and she looked up with a mixture of surprise and amusement.

"I wasn't expecting to see you for quite a while. What are you doing here?" The Doctor smiled and got a little boost of confidence, "Do I need a reason to visit my wife? Why, I'm here to offer you all of time and space. Well, for at least another two weeks and four days. Amy and Rory are gone off spending time with their family."

River stood up and slowly walked over to the cage bars. The look on her face wasn't exactly one of happiness now. Perhaps The Doctor said a bit too much, but maybe she'd be reasonable. When she approached the bars, she leaned forward and whispered in the most soft and sweet way, "No. No Sweetie I do not want all of time and space. Have you forgotten that I am ever so cross with you?" The Doctor took a step back before remembering he had the chocolates and the flowers.

"What do you mean no?" He then brandished his gifts, "Maybe this will change your mind?"

River smiled, "No."

"What?"

"No Sweetie." The Doctor stood there flabbergasted. For once in his entire 900 year old life, he couldn't think of a way out of this situation. He could try though, but chances are he would only make the situation worse. Even still, The Time Lord had to try.

The Doctor decided to take a chance anyway and took out his screwdriver, sonicing the door open. "Oh come on love. You can't be mad at me forever. Welll theoretically you can plus it is you we're talking about. So forget what I said, but I'm bored and lonely and I miss you. Just come with me. There are lots of fun things we can do." To that, River giggled and shook her head. The Doctor wasn't about to give up just yet, "Please? I'm even asking all nice like." The Time Lord gave her the most sorry look he could muster and she still shook her head. Letting out an exasperated sigh he shoved the flowers and chocolates in her arms, "At least take those. I don't care what you do with them after I'm gone. I spent an hour trying to figure out what to get you after all. If you want to stay here than fine. It's not like I can change your oh so stubborn but beautifully brilliant mind." The Time Lord turned on his heels and left. When he was back in his TARDIS, he sat in one of the chairs in the console room and crossed one leg over the other. Now his brain was buzzing with thoughts of River and he could feel his body heating up. What he wanted most was to have her there with him. He had to show her just how important she was to him. By no means was the 900 year old alien giving up without a fight. He was going to keep trying.

Around the same time, River was fussing around in her cell. This time she heard the engines of the TARDIS and giggled to herself. While she was still cross with him, she couldn't help but smile at how he wasn't going to give up. That and he left the breaks on. She hated when he left the breaks on, but it was kind of funny. He was such a quirky man. Turning to face her cell doors, she saw her doctor swagger up to the cell doors.

"Coming to entice me to see all of space with you, Sweetie?" The doctor looked at her and simply smiled. He didn't say anything and just leaned against the bars of the cell door. Honestly, he didn't have a single plan. That was typical of him though and so he just watched as River returned to fussing around her cell. A few minutes of silence ticked by before he finally said something.

"How are you today?" River looked up at him smiling.

"Perfectly happy considering I'm in here for the next however many years?"

That was what the Doctor needed and he straightened his bowtie, "Well you could momentarily escape from here and come see all of time and-"

River cut him off with a stern, "No Sweetie." The Doctor stared a bit shocked but then simply laughed.

He once again broke in to her cell but this time he stepped in, "Fine then. I'll simply stay here. You can't get rid of me that easily. Haha." He plopped right down in a chair and crossed one leg over the other. River looked at him and then shook her head laughing. "I'm going to have my way with you one way or the other," he said it with all of his Time Lord confidence and to that River laughed again.

River stared at him and seductively waltzed over to him, "Oh really? Who says I want you in that way?"

The Doctor countered, "You have that 'he's so hot face on'"

River stared, "This is my normal face sweetie."

"I know."

"Shut up," she playfully slapped him on the cheek, not hard like usual. That seemed to be their own little joke and way of flirting with each other. It all started when they took that trip back to the 1960s, just before the moon landing. She then rubbed his cheek and he leaned in to her touch. "You really do miss me?" The Doctor nodded and she sighed, "As much as you did Amy and Rory?"

Taking her hand in his he kissed it, "Of course. Why wouldn't I miss you? Do you really think I would be here if I didn't?" River took her hand from his, "You only ever come see me when you're bored or desperately wanting me." The Doctor looked at her with that confused look. He thought about it for a bit. He had to carefully respond to her or he might make things worse.

He took her hand, both of them this time and looked at her, really looked at her. "I thought that's what normal married people do? Get intimate with each other; seek each other's company and what not? Isn't that what married people do? We are supposed to share our feelings, talk, and support each other. We have good times and bad times. That's what it means to be married right?"

"Oh you are so thick," River shook her head and immediately took her hands back. She moved away from him and he watched her. It looks like his Time Lord brain missed something important again. River was such a complex woman and he loved every bit of her, but that didn't stop him from being utterly frustrated and this time he let it show, letting out a frustrated long sigh. When he did, River heard it and looked right at him. "Don't go getting angry at me. You're the one whose supposed to be so brilliant and smart, figure it out."

He sat there in that cell with River. He really sat there for a short while, thinking it over and over in his head. As he did, he watched River admiring her, the way she moved, those blonde curls that shined in the rather dim light of the cell. The more he watched her the more his thoughts travelled south instead of figuring out what she meant. Really he was becoming rather human and that wasn't supposed to be a good thing. Somehow he didn't care just right then as he stood and reached out, grasping River's hand and spinning her around before pinning her up against the table she had been working at. His mouth travelled to hers, kissing her, not even hiding his intentions. For once he made the aggressive move, unable to think about what River said anymore. The Time Lord desperately wanted, needed, and missed his wife ever so much. That's what he had been missing; at least he thought that was it. Most likely it was a factor, considering he did wake up with a nice hard problem for the past few months and took cold showers to solve it, well not exactly solve it. Cold showers and a hand only worked but so much. Eventually he just gave up and thought about waiting it out, holding himself back. When Amy and Rory were with him he focused on them, focused on keeping them safe and out of danger, but with them gone, he had ample time to let his mind wonder and wonder it did. When he wasn't thinking about fixing or upgrading something, he thought of his Melody Pond.

Now he had his Melody, his River in his arms, though she wasn't exactly being open to the idea as she was slapping and hitting him. Somehow that angered him. That was a new experience, getting denied and feeling anger. His green eyes locked on her hers and he growled at him, grabbing her arms and holding them, using his body to hold her there as he kissed and sucked on her neck.

"I can't believe you." River was very cross, more cross than before. She was still putting up resistance and he was getting frustrated at having to fight her. It was such a new sensation, getting frustrated, taking the initiative only to be shoved away, it was all so new. Frustration itself wasn't knew, after all he's been flustered when stuck in a trap or trying to get out of danger, but this was a different kind. Usually the Time Lord was the one resisting, gently pushing away the offending person, stopping the offending action. When it was River, he usually stuttered but ended up submitting completely to her and all her whims. What was it about him though that she never did the same? When has River ever let him have his way and completely for that matter? Why did everything have to be done her way? It was frustrating him, in fact it had been the source of an argument that spawned in to another and then another along with some mean things said. By no means did The Doctor expect them to be perfect, but that didn't stop him from feeling the way he did.

While he had his River here, fighting him, he let his hands roam all over her, touching feeling her, not making any sexual gestures, just feeling her, reminding himself of how good she felt, how wonderful it was to feel her body shoved up against his. Oh it excited him in many ways, but he wasn't going to push it, wasn't going to push himself on her and risk getting injured. This was River Song, a psychopath, his psychopath but a psychopath nonetheless. She could hurt him, even kill him. One never knew what mood she was in. The Doctor wasn't about to find out more than he already has. The last time he tried something and pushed her too far she ended up handcuffing him to a railing, working him up and then leaving him there for three hours. That was the most imaginative, but painful time, but the makeup sex was exceptional. When she felt bad about something, she made up for it many wonderful mind blowing ways. Just remembering that day made him even more aroused and hard than he already was and he wasn't sure if he could hold himself back much longer, having her so close to him.

Finally after kissing her for a few more times, he untangled himself from her. He let her go, having refrained from acting on his intentions. For the millionth time he had the chance to be the aggressor and take his chance and he held back. The Doctor captured River's lips in his and in between kisses mumbled, "I love you more than you will ever realize." Finally he truly pulled away, giving River her space. She glared fully at him, not hiding how cross she was. It sure looked like he made her even angrier at him, but it was well worth feeling her against him again, reminding himself how much he loved the feel of her against him.

River turned back to what she was doing, her anger evident in the way she moved, picking things up and roughly slamming them elsewhere. Really, the Time Lord was at a loss as to how to make her happy. An idea popped in to his head though, but before he could act, River turned around.

"You really only see me as some last resort? I realize I'm stuck in here," her arms gestured to her cell, "But, why is it I never get to spend as much time with you as everyone else… Do you ever obsess and think about me even half as much as I do when I'm stuck in here?"

The Doctor took her hand, "I'm offering to take you with me to spend time," He gently tugged her by the hand, "Stop being stubborn River and come spend time with me. We can go anywhere. I'll let you stay with me for as long as you want. Well, as long as possible. I don't want them adding years on to your sentence. Stop worrying about everything. I love you completely and you're the most precious thing in the universe, so come make passionate love to me. We can hang around the TARDIS, or go wherever you like." He did his best to try and convince her to come and was pleased when she finally smiled and followed him. It was far from over however. He knew they still some things to sort out. The fact they had even been apart from each other, longer than usual was a clear sign that something was amiss. The fact a single doubt was in River Song's head bothered The Doctor as it should, but he dismissed it as he pushed River gently inside the TARDIS and snapped his fingers, letting the doors close.

As soon as they were inside, they were kissing. The Doctor craved more and more of River's tastes, taking the initiative, taking control away from River and steering her towards the console. Once he head her pinned up, he began to systematically remove her clothing, or tried until River's hands took hold of his. "Shouldn't we do this in the bedroom Sweetie," her sweetly seductive voice purred in The Doctor's ear. That was the thing about making love to her, he tended to forget basic things and his mind simply stopped working. As for what she said, he only half registered what she had said and began pushing her in the direction of the hallway, just a general direction, not really knowing where he was supposed to be going, but he registered that she wasn't going to do it here.

River took his hand, leading him down the complex halls of the TARDIS. The Doctor was only vaguely aware of where they were headed, enjoying how enticing his wife looked in the jeans and shirt that she wore. It was evident that she planned to stay in Stormcage. Usually when he went to see her, or vise versa, she was dressed differently, not that he cared. She looked in anything, but especially something TARDIS blue. How could she not? River was a child of the TARDIS born as it was in flight in the time vortex, and it was inevitable that he would fall in love with her. He loved her so much and that was why it was so shocking to hear her voice such doubt, but that was normal, hopefully. No one was perfect, no relationship was perfect and he could attest to that seeing as how only recently had he come to trust her, to know her. Not only that but he never saved her. He searched for her, tried to save her, but he failed her and she grew up a trained killer, a psychopath sent out to kill him. Perhaps that is why they finally reached this point, this point where doubts were rising up to the surface. Again he seemed to cause her trouble, but he didn't know what to do to fix things.

Now wasn't the time to think such dark things. Usually when he was with her he didn't think at all. River had such an ability to stop his Time Lord brain from thinking, usually he ended up in a mass of moaning incoherent mess. This time it was different, he was thinking, thinking about her, about all of their arguments, all of what she said and from the way she looked at him as she shoved him roughly in to their bedroom, he knew she could see the gears in his mind turning. That wasn't good, that wasn't good at all. The Doctor wasn't about to let her get away though, he needed her. Reaching out, he took her hands and pulled her on top of him, gently so as not to hurt her in any way. The Time Lord kissed his wife, resuming what he had been doing, stripping her first of her top, then unclasping her bra, taking a moment to massage and enjoy the feel of her breasts. Next came getting her out of those jeans which seemed to highlight and favor her lovely body.

As he was enjoying discovering every inch of his wife, he felt her hands working in return on him. He was all too eager to help her along, shrugging off that tweed jacket of his, letting her untie his bowtie that she seemed to hate so much. Then he shivered and moaned softly as she unbuttoned each button, all too eager to get out of his shirt and feel her flesh against his. It had been quite some time since they last made love to each other. Oh it had been a while because of all the disagreements and arguments which caused them to storm off away from each other. It was a strange feeling, to be angry with her so much he didn't want to be around her. Usually he said, "Yes Sweetie" and just did whatever it was she wanted. Perhaps things changed when one was married. They do say marriage changes people.

"Sweetie you're still thinking," River purred in his ear, bringing him back to reality. He locked his green eyes on hers. "You're not supposed to think, I must not be doing a good job." She pouted at him before shaking her head, her golden curls flying everywhere and then started to kiss his neck, sucking on that one spot which made him go wild. Oh she was good, because all his thoughts froze when she did and he could feel himself getting even harder if that was possible. When she reached the last button, he shrugged off the dress shirt and his suspenders along with it and leaned back enjoying the feeling of her hands all over him, relishing in it, letting himself get bathed in the feeling, the wonderful feeling of another touching him, something he had missed. He sighed, for the first time, unwinding, letting himself lose control, something he usually fought against, even when he was with her. Fighting the feelings was too much work and the Time Lord was eager to get it on with his wife, eager to lose himself in River and forget every doubt that ever plagued him.

Next to go had to be his pants, and he whimpered, grabbing River's hands, he directed them to his pants and she eagerly started to get those off him. All the while, he set his own hands to work, tugging away at any remaining articles of clothing on her body and soon they finally connect, flesh against flesh. The Doctor elicited a groan and set to work pleasuring his wife. His lips found their way to her neck as he stroked at her entrance, teasing her before slipping in first one finger then another, bringing ever closer to her peak. He took everything nice and slow, in no hurry to let it end. In fact he intended to drag everything out as long as he could before he couldn't hold back anymore. He wanted to make it a passionate night with his wife, to show her they were something special, that nothing in the universe could tear them apart. When he lost himself in her, he wanted it to be the most wonderful moment possible. Slowly, despite her pleases, he slowly stroked her, letting her feeling everything, drawing out every moment, all the while he whispered his love to her, whispered everything he loved about her from her personality, to her beautiful mind, to her perfect body. Everything he usually couldn't say, he made a point to articulate it clearly to her, even if it wasn't the best time most likely, it meant something to him, to hear himself say it, to know he was saying it to her.

River's hands settled on his shoulders holding tightly to him. He watched her face as her eyes were full of luster, and love for him and he enjoyed seeing her get lost in the pleasure. It excited him to know he could do this to her and that no one else would know such a side of her but him, her husband. They were connected, shared something special and he didn't want that bond severed or to be lost over some silly argument, or misunderstandings. That's all they had been angry over, a simple misunderstanding, or at least he thought so. But now was not the time to wonder and think about such things.

When he felt her clinch around his fingers he knew she was close. The Doctor kissed her passionately and then lined himself up with her, but held back and let her catch her breath and finish riding out the waves of her orgasm. River looked up at him and flipped them so that she lay on her back. It caught the Time Lord off guard, used to being handcuffed down. For one second he froze up, staring down at her. That familiar nervousness made its way to his stomach and he snorted and giggled, like the time he did when he laughed at Rory after Amy said he liked to waltz in and make fun the man. When he realized what he had done he stared at River, the look on her face was pure amusement and he smiled a very cheesy and nervous smile.

"I'm sorry," he nervously laughed again, losing all of that Time Lord confidence. He tended to do that where River was concerned. He was so used to River taking control, dictating how everything was to be done. It was silly, but very true. That woman knew exactly what she wanted and was not one to back down, even against him. "I'm not laughing at you, Sweetie."

River looked at him with such a devilish and knowing twinkle in her eye," Then what are you laughing at Sweetie?"

"Nothing in particular. I supposed I'm," he whispered the last part ever so quietly, more to himself, "Nervous." River stared up at him before laughing herself which meant she heard it. She sure had a way of making him feel embarrassed. Even still he was quickly losing his concentration and was in a fit of giggles. When he finally did stop, he tried to recapture the mood and say something sexy and seductive, but of course that didn't happen. Instead he came out with, "The longest cell in the human body are motor neurons and can run up to 4.5 feet long."

There was a nice long pause before River's laughter rang through the room. He was pretty sure that her laughter could be heard from their room all throughout the TARDIS. Now the thought running through his head was if he could die and regenerate from embarrassment. When he was sure that the mood was completely dead, he started to climb off her. The Doctor only stopped when he felt River's hand on his arms, pulling him back on top of her.

"Sweetie, what are you nervous about? We've only done it a few dozen times." She smiled at him and somehow that only made him more nervous.

The Doctor stared at her before blurting out, "Yes and every time you had a pair of handcuffs at the ready. In fact I kind of started to like and expect it. I can't believe I admitted that. Right then, forgive me for being very out of practice."

River only started to giggle again before shaking her head. "You're so hopeless sometimes. It was all going so great. Well I suppose you are a bit out of practice. We'll just have to fix that." Once he was back on top of her, she guided him inside of her. It was a surreal moment, the kind where every sense is on high alert and heightened

The Doctor stared down at her before remembering exactly what he was supposed to be doing and where he was. After he got over the shock, he moved slowly, just getting used to the idea as silly as that sounded and it did sound quite silly considering he was 900+ years old and it wasn't their first time, or his for that matter. He let out another laugh before collecting himself and speeding up, settling in to a steady rhythm and finding the spot that flicked on a switch in River. Studying his wife's face as well as using her moans, he quickly found the right combination as settled in. When he felt himself and her get close, instead of speeding up, he held back, much to her surprise, wanting to draw the moment out. He made that moment ever so sweet, holding her, kissing and tangling his fingers in her hair. How he maintained enough control was a mystery to him, considering every other time by then he'd be gone, long gone and an incoherent mess. Still when they finally did come, they came together, shouting their love for one another and passionately saying each other's name.

It was such a ride that The Time Lord barely had the strength to pull out, which was rare since he usually had enough stamina to go two, maybe even three rounds in the same day. He could probably go more, but usually something came up, or River was sound asleep, and waking her up was not the best thing to do. There was always when she was just waking up, but he tried that once and she shoved him off the bed. That actually really hurt, but then again she had woke up in a rather off mood. That was when he decided any point when she was waking up, that was not the time to approach her. He personally has never awakened her, though he was tempted to at times, but he's seen her fury when woken up out of a nice nap. Once she fell asleep in the console room and Amy and Rory had been arguing. Needless to say, it was not a pretty sight at all. Well it was from his angle, River is a very sexy creature. She didn't do anything to them, but her parents never argued in front of her again.

River snuggled up and pressed against him and he embraced her. They held each other and River let out a sigh, drifting off to sleep. From the look in her eye, he knew they were going to end up talking when they woke up. Talking is good; talking solves problems and improves things. Usually that is, though here lately talking ended up in an argument. Hopefully though talking would fix whatever misunderstanding they had, before now. Even so, he was glad he worked up the courage to go see her in Stormcage, though he would need to get back to Earth, see if Amy and Rory were finished with their visit. Though as he toyed with the idea of calling and telling them to stay put longer and spend time with his wife. That sounded like a good idea. It would be very nice to spend time with River, real time and anywhere with her would make him happy, even if he had to do so in Stormcage. That put a smile on his face as he held her close to him, close to his hearts as drifted off to sleep.

**There you go! I hope you enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing it, well aside from having rewritten it a bunch of times. See ya later. Hopefully it won't be as long a wait.**


	5. Chapter 5

**I had planned on updating this sooner…but that didn't happen. Actually nothing is going according to plan. That's nothing new…but it doesn't make it any better. Really been in this rut for a while. Finally though I'm getting this chapter done even if it kills me and I mean it. I don't want it sitting here waiting for me. It's getting done! It might be shorter than my usual chapters, but it's getting up there. I mean it. I shall not rest until it is published!**

When he asked River to return to the TARDIS with him, he had it in mind that they would talk things over. Interestingly enough, when he woke, the bed beside him was empty. A note was left behind and it read:

_Sorry Sweetie had to get back to my cell. It's inspection day. Wouldn't want them missing me. I always get the best marks. Don't worry though you'll hear from me soon._

_ River_

The Doctor sighed and stood, going to his bathroom and running a shower. Once he was all cleaned up, he went to the console room and started punching in coordinates. He decided to go back to Earth and just hang around in the TARDIS for a little bit. He flipped a few knobs, pulled some levers, tapped the bell and then pulled the giant lever that sent the blue box spinning in to the vortex. Smiling he stood by the console and then the TARDIS landed in Leadworth. The breaks were on as always, he didn't need them off since River skipped out on him. If she were here, he'd have turned them off because the sound drove her insane.

When the blue phone box landed down, he stood there in the center of the console room. Now what was he going to do? He planned to go on an adventure, well adventures, with River. He had a million different things he planned when he succeeded in getting his wife in the box, and that did not include shagging her, but it felt damn good when he did. Now he was satisfied, but alone in his prized ship and bored again. When the realization dawned on him, it slammed in to him like a tidal wave with a few bricks thrown in for good measure.

To put it bluntly, it hurt. It hurt how he was surrounded with people and still felt that loneliness, that pain. 900+ years of living and he had all of time and space as his backyard and that's all it was, his backyard. He had companions, but they had lives to live, things to achieve. He had nothing, no home, no family, and friends, but they had lives, and a wife, but she seemed to be highly upset with him. What was he left with? A daft old blue box and a backyard filled with all that is, was, and will be. That prompted a question.

Why did he live? Why was he alive?

But he could answer that. He didn't want to die, was afraid to pass in to nothingness, afraid to join the rest of his kind.

What is it that drives him to live other than fear of death? When you are at your lowest point and with nothing left, what do you do? That question stuck in his mind because what could he do but think. He had ample time to think and ponder such things. Thinking was his strength, his greatest strength along with his ability to love. It wasn't always like this, no he had to learn to love again and his previous companions taught him that. Now he loved greatly, acknowledged his feelings, entertained them and look where it got him. It was quite a laugh and he couldn't help the bitter chuckle that sounded from his throat. While the Time Lord wasn't sure that was what they meant, that is how things turned out. The doctor was pretty sure when Rose taught him to love, she didn't wish for this future. But that was something for another day. Right now he had more gloomy things to ponder.

Since no one was here he threw his brown tweed jacket aside, loosened his bow tie and just kicked back and relaxed. All those dark thoughts swirled around in his brain. Not only did he have these nagging doubts, but he still had his failed rescue of Melody Pond fresh on the mind. For once he had failed to save someone. Not everyone could be saved, he knew, but it hit him hard when he didn't make it in time. From day one he made it his goal to save people; planets, civilizations, and he only seemed to make things worse. From time to time there was a good day, a day where nobody died, but those days were few and far between. What made it all worse was that he was always there for everyone, but who was there for him? Who was there when The Doctor needed a shoulder to cry on, someone to tell him things were okay even though he wouldn't believe them? Who could heal the healer? That simple realization shattered everything that held his illusion, his world apart. The Doctor would never have anyone to turn to because in time Melody Pond would not be there. At some point in the future, she would meet him in his youngest state and she would die in some library. Amy and Rory wouldn't always be there and even now, he couldn't burden them with his problems.

As for being a healer, he took the title and turned it, distorted it in to a nightmare which is why he was being hunted down. Sitting up straight, The Doctor stared at the console of his TARDIS and asked to no one, "Why is it that everything I love is ripped away? Why is my life so hard, so difficult? Why can't I just live?" The Time Lord's voice echoed off the walls. No reply came back because there was no one to answer. There never will be anyone to answer, and he knows this all too well. Sulking will not change the present and he too knows this fact. As for why his life isn't simple, he is too restless and free to be confined to a dull life of day to day fish and chips with a TV on. There was a reason his nightmare was of a boring day in Leadworth visiting Amy and Rory. The Doctor does not do domestic. In fact it was surprising he married River, but then again that isn't exactly domestic in the sense he feared. Two Time Travelers could share this life of running together when they were together on the correct time line. Even so, the alien had to be honest with his self. He wouldn't change a thing for River was unique, so unique and so beautiful. That psychotic woman had his heart and he couldn't do a thing about it, nor did he wish to. The only thing is, sometimes, such as now, he didn't feel he could tell her how he felt. It was more than running out of words, more than stuttering for a while before he smiled and said, "Words Doctor" and he would just spit it out. There was this gap between him and her, more than before, more than just being on two different time streams. He just didn't feel he could tell her such intimate things. He tried and it caused this disagreement.

As if sensing his depression, he felt the warm loving presence of the TARDIS. She cloaked his mind in a soft warm feeling, one that always made him feel safe and held him together. Sooner or later it wouldn't work, but for now it staved off the impending mental collapse, because even The Doctor has his weaknesses, his moments; moments that no one ever saw. Oh those moments where he panicked, where he went off in anger were only the surface of what lies underneath. What lies beneath the surface is the Oncoming Storm with all of the ice-fire rage of a Time Lord. Each violent, passionate emotion that he as a living creature feels, amplified over the years swirled around, flowing through his mind and his veins. He felt everything and it could make him or break him. So far he was lucky, controlling everything, keeping his quirky cool head and being his goofy self that the rest of the world gets to see. No one, not even River, knows what truly lies beneath; at least he liked to think so. With River however at times it felt as if she saw what lies beneath, looking past the rules and charades that he put up to hide it. It was possible, but he dare not think about it least his hearts break in two.

At the very least, to The Doctor's credit, he was not as skittish of his true self and his emotions as his previous regeneration. No he was more accepting of his very human nature. He liked to think he was the sum of his regenerations, human, but not. He was childish, but ancient in his ways. He wasn't all human or all alien Time Lord. He was a balance of two natures, an attempt to see the world for what it is. At the same time he was ancient, something old and that fact weighed heavily on his mind. He knew it; he lived a long life and things weren't the same. Having his companions there eased that burden and when they were there he could see it, see all the wonders of the universe, of creation. Maybe just maybe, for now at the very least, all was not lost and hopeless. However in the dark corner the doubt would remain, but he resolved to take the answer he just now found and live. At least for now.

The Doctor stood to go to the library when he heard a knock on the door and the familiar arguing. A small smile spread across his face as he jogged over to the doors and threw them open.

"You stupid face! It isn't my fault." Amy's voice was easily picked out as he pulled the doors open. Rory stood there running his hand through his hair, just passively taking what would most likely turn in to a tirade of insults and nagging. River was like her mother in many ways.

"I didn't do anything… Honestly. It isn't my fault you can't get along with your parents… Or mine for long." Rory softly offered up his defense, but it got ignored. He sighed and The Doctor decided to step in and make his presence known before the poor guy ended up sleeping in the console room or wherever he ended up. Actually he found that thought a bit funny. It wasn't the first time he walked in to find Rory curled up under a blanket in the console room or the library. Some domestic things never change even when travelling with a Time Lord in a phone box for a time machine/spaceship. The Time Lord gave his companions a goofy smile as he cleared his throat. He shut the doors behind him and rested one arm against the TARDIS and the other placed on his hip.

"Not that I'm not thrilled, but why are you two back?"

Amy glared, "Let's just say I'm apparently still mental because I tried to explain how I ended up with a daughter and a son in law older than I am. I felt they deserved to know what my life is like. It didn't go so well and I refuse to go see a fifth psychologist." The Doctor snickered ever so slightly before pushing the door open.

"Well then in that case, shall we go somewhere amazing? No point in staying here right?" He stepped aside and the two Ponds climbed inside. He followed, pushing the doors closed behind him. It was unfortunate that their families would never understand, but at the very least he had company. With them around, he won't think of all the dark things in his life. Even with them around, that didn't solve the problem for he knew very well that you can be surrounded by people and still be alone. Not every day would be filled with fun and running. He pulled the lever and sent the time machine in to space before he turned to his two companions, "Never mind. I'll put the trip off for a short while. I've got something to do first. Nothing serious though so don't be alarmed."

He dashed off down the hallway, taking a complex route before finding his room. It wasn't the TARDIS blue bedroom but one that resembled a long lost planet, one dear to his heart. The Doctor had his ups and downs and this happened to be a bit of a low point. He walked through the doors and took in the bright orange sky with two suns and the deep brilliantly red grass. He walked through there and let his self lose control for a single instead, take a few moments to sob and be vulnerable while his TARDIS kept Amy and Rory occupied and wrapped him in a safe comforting aura. It eased the pain as he reminded himself that even with companions, he had no one. He was alone. He was also The Doctor and people depended on him. There was no one he depended on and that hurt. Right now he was more alone in the universe than he has ever been.

**Alright with that out of the way, I need to start planning the next chapter. I didn't plan on the Ponds showing back up so soon, but I didn't know what else to write. I did fulfill my promise to get this chapter up today! I managed to live! Sorry it was all sappy, emotional, depressing, and whatever else you want to call it, but don't worry things will be looking up soon! **


	6. Chapter 6

The usual bickering could be heard throughout the TARDIS. It added a familiarity to the time machine and it reminded the figure at the console that he was not alone. The source of the bickering grew closer and it wasn't long before the couple came down the stairs, still bickering, not even noticing the figure at the console.

"Do you two ever stop arguing?" The Time Lord grinned, amused at their antics. The Ponds turned and looked at him. "Now then, where do we want to go today?"

"How about that planet? The vacation one? We could use a vacation, all of us. One big happy family." Amy turned to The Doctor and sort of strutted confidently over to the console. The Doctor would never get used to the way she walked. Her daughter was just like her. She leaned against the console, "You know what I'm talking about right?"

The Doctor thought for a moment before nodding, "Oh that planet! Sure thing. A vacation, a little bonding time." He started inputting the coordinates and running around flipping levers, "Perfect idea! I'll drop you two off. Maybe with luck you're daughter will pop up."

Rory timidly interjected, "Um we were including you in our family unit. You are our son in law… As weird as that is…" The Doctor froze and Amy nodded when he caught her eye. "Yeah, so you're coming with us or I'll call my Roman friends. Don't make me call them." He tried to look threatening, which would have worked if it were any other time, such as the time he walked in on River making out with him in the kitchen, then there was the time he walked in the library to get something and again he and River were at it in one of the chairs. Both occasions were not The Doctor's fault. He couldn't resist River's charms and persuasive skills. Either way, he feared Rory's anger, but River wasn't here and he wasn't doing anything wrong, so he instead laughed.

The Doctor looked at them for a moment and then flashed them one of his smiles, "Why not? It'll certainly be an adventure."

Amy cleared her throat. "By Adventure you mean one with or without the running and nearly getting killed. I don't mind it, but stupid face here does."

"How long am I going to be stupid face?" Rory sighed defeated. The Doctor didn't even bat an eye. They always got in to this argument.

Amy playfully swatted at him, "Oh I don't know, forever?"

This time The Doctor cut in. Amy was right; he couldn't resist making fun of Rory. "Just think of it as a pet name. River does take after her mother after all." The Ponds stopped and looked at him for a moment, a bit startled. They obviously still haven't gotten used to their little family. It isn't every day you grow up with your daughter and name your daughter after your daughter. Even the Time Lord had a bit of trouble accepting that, though he had trouble accepting that they "did it" in his TARDIS. 900+ years and no one had ever really had sex in his TARDIS. In fact he himself never really got the opportunity after all he usually ditched the companion he fancied, or they were cruelly taken away. That however is a thought process he won't get in to at the moment.

"I've got the perfect place for us to vacation at! It's going to be perfect. The TARDIS has already phoned River. I'm sure she's got the message, though knowing your daughter," he pointed at Amy and smiled, "She's already beat us there. That planet you were talking about, we've just landed." He grinned and turned running to the TARDIS doors and pulled them open. "Behold Paradiso!" Standing aside, he gave his companions time to look and take in the sights as he smiled. Things were looking up compared to his recent moods. It was nice to have them near and he couldn't be happier.

Stretched out before them was a planet with lush forests. Not far from them was a little retreat, one they could stay at and really get the experience. It was a real vacation and hopefully they wouldn't be killed or anything bad like that. From what they could see from their position it was like being on Earth, only they weren't on Earth anymore. Most likely there would be humans and many other species. It was going to be exciting seeing as how it was their first outer space vacation on a different planet. The Doctor turned back to them and was positively beaming.

"Come along Ponds," he was practically singing it. Even he couldn't deny that he was excited by it all. "We've got things to do."

Amy suspiciously looked at him, "You didn't happen to get some sort of message?"

"No, of course not!"

"Then why are you so excited?"

"Oh I don't know!" He gave her his most innocent look ever.

"Then what are these "things to do"?"

The Doctor chuckled, "Weren't you the one who wanted me to come along? Why what else do you do on a get away? You swim, eat a bunch of foreign food, get sick from said foreign food, relax and read, play games, and shop!" With that the Time Lord rushed them all back inside the TARDIS and they gathered a few things to stay for a few days. They didn't exactly agree on a time frame but either way it would be quite the adventure. When they finished packing, The Doctor locked up the TARDIS and led them in to the resort.

As usual there were humans all over the place. There were also a few species they had encountered before such as the Silurians from that village were Amy got swallowed up in to the middle of the Earth. There were some they have yet to encounter as well. The Doctor took a moment to orient himself before picking out a place to stay because what would be the point of a place like this if they stayed in the TARDIS?

He stopped just short of the door however and turned around, "Anyone think to bring any money?"

Rory stared, "We came all the way here and we don't even have any money?"

Amy scoffed, "Really? What kind of son in law invites his parents on a getaway and doesn't have money?"

The Doctor called back playful, "Who needs that stuff when you've got a TARDIS, a sonic screwdriver, and all of time and space! There should be something around here that dispenses money or credit or whatever this planet uses. I haven't been here in a while and not in this regeneration. Hang on"

The Time Lord looks around before spotting what appeared to be an ATM. "Never mind I got it all covered. Not exactly legal but hey. My sonic screwdriver may not work on wood but it works on ATMs." Discretely the Time Lord went over and procured them sticks of "credit" like the ones they used on Satellite 5 and divided it up between the three of them. Afterwards they went inside and gazed up on one of the most beautiful hotels. Inside it was grand with a chandelier and a grand staircase. The carpets were lush and there was a beautiful indoor fountain where people appeared to be throwing coins inside.

"A wishing fountain!" after letting out a gleeful yell, Amy rushed over and stood by it, "Maybe later I'll make a wish."

The Doctor walked over with Rory in toe, "Why would you want to do something like that? You have a real genie right here! I can do almost anything with my magic box."

Amy gave him one of her looks that reminded him how alien he was at times. She turned back to the fountain not particularly talking to anyone. "It's the idea and hope it inspires more than anything. You of all people should know what hope does, what wishing does to people."

The comment caught the alien off guard. Usually The Doctor was the one to remind people of such ideas, but this time he was on the receiving end. She was right however. He was sure Amelia waited by her window wishing for him to come along. Whether it was the work of a silly fountain or whatever, it did come true and he came back to pick her up and runaway. The only thing is he didn't exactly believe in wishes after all how many nights did he wish that he could fix his past and be forgiven for all the wrongs he's done to various people, particularly his people. How many times did he wish he could see that burnt orange sky and that deep red grass?

Right now wasn't the time to go down that path. Reaching inside his coat pocket he produced a coin and took Amy's hand and placed it in her palm. "Go on Amy Pond. Make a wish." The surprised but happy look on her face was enough for him and he turned and found another one, giving it to Rory and another one for himself. "Ah well, here goes nothing. Who knows? Maybe it will come true!" Together all three of them threw their coins in to the water, entrusting their wish to whatever power that fountain may hold, if it held any at all. The idea was enough to give them a bit of hope and excitement.

"Hello Sweetie," that oh so familiar startled them and they turned around. The Doctor's face light up as the one of the things he wished for seemed to be coming true. River gave him her most seductive smile before turning to hug her parents. She pulled away and looked at all three of them, "Family bonding time? Sounds like a wild adventure to me and you know I can't resist adventures. Especially not when he's around. Something exciting is bound to happen."

Amy and Rory looked at each other. The Doctor put one arm around River and just beamed. What is to become of this little trip, not even River and The Doctor knows but they were excited. As for Amy and Rory, they're caught in the middle of it, but that didn't matter because they were together. They all made their way to a reception area and acquired two rooms and headed up to settle in.


	7. Chapter 7

**Sorry for the delay. Life's been hectic, plus the new Series 7 has put me through a rollercoaster of emotions. I didn't mean to go so long without updating. I haven't exactly had any ideas either. Honestly, that final episode kind of killed me too. Enough, on with the chapter.**

The rooms in the resort were spacious, which was perfect considering The Doctor hated small spaces. He didn't know how long they planned to stay either. Of course it didn't particularly matter considering wherever they are; an adventure was bound to pop up. The Doctor merely had to show up and eventually something would come his way and that was enough for him. Sitting still and waiting would kill him, and he couldn't have that.

The rooms were perfect in every way, almost too perfect. The beds in both rooms were large enough to accommodate the two couples. The walls were white but adorned with many pictures of the beautiful scenery found outside such as the crystal clear blue ocean. The windows let in plenty of sunlight, but that could be adjusted with the blinds to suit each taste. The beds were comfortable with satin sheets on them, and the only reason they knew that was The Doctor sat down and slid right off on to the floor with a loud thump.

"Blimey! They could've warned me." The Time Lord smiled and jumped to his feet after rubbing his backside. "I am not as young as I used to be you know."

"Really? You look no older than mid to late twenties to me." Amy replied not missing a beat and River nodded in agreement, easily picking up on the joke.

"That's just rude!" He feigned hurt, but smiled and continued to explore the room along with Rory. He easily got in and fiddled with everything before losing interest and again sitting on the bed, only this time he knew what to expect.

River joined his side, sitting right beside her Doctor, "So what are we going to do Sweetie?"

The Doctor didn't respond, thinking. Before he could Amy offered up a suggestion. "We could start with settling in then going for lunch since its lunch time." Rory nodded in agreement,

"I'm hungry myself." The Doctor and River agreed and Amy and Rory went off to explore and get their room ready. The Doctor turned to River and stared for a moment, his green eyes lingering on her for a second longer than usual before he straightened his bow tie and proceeded to help River unpack and get their things sorted out. It took about an hour to settle in since The Doctor had never actually stayed anywhere, so River had to make the decisions on which drawers they'd share and which they used separately, but it was easy considering the Time Lord always gave in to her demands. The only time he really opposed her was when she lied to him and hid the damage from him. He hated when she hid things, but he couldn't exactly blame her, considering he hid some things himself, but then again, who doesn't have a few secrets?

The Doctor and River then walked across the hall. He was just about to open the door when River cleared her throat. He eyed her, "What?"

"You can't go barging in?"

"Can't I? I've always just walked right in!" He smiled as he said that, proud of himself.

"They're married…" The Doctor looked at her, obviously not following. "They are MARRIED."

"I was there, yes they are."

River began to smile, "Didn't you walk in on them once?"

"Oh! Don't remind me of that! No, no no no no!"

Rive patted his arm and smiled again, "That is why you should knock Sweetie." The Doctor sighed and looked away; his face was a deep shade of read as certain images had resurfaced in his mind. He agreed and promised to make a conscious effort to remember to knock. He turned and knocked on the door. In a few seconds it flew open and Amy stood there staring.

"Did you actually… knock?"

River nodded, "I'm teaching him to knock before entering."

Amy snickered at the look on her Time Lord friend's face, "Well, you could've done that a few weeks ago when he showed up at our house in the middle of the night. Not that it was a problem. Rory and I still had a good –"

"Alrighty! I'm hungry. Who wants chips?" The Doctor smiled and put on that goofy grin as always. He didn't want to recall what happened any more than he has. River clearly knew by the look on her face, that smug, but sexy grin she gets which always set his hearts a flutter. Rory joined them and the group set off to go and get chips, stopping to look at a few shops along the way. It wasn't crowded, but there were people about, buzzing and carrying on their way. They easily fit right in, humans were everywhere. In no time at all, they settled at a small place, ordering their food and began to laugh and catch up on some things, mostly River syncing her diary to The Doctor's and figuring where they were now in the time stream.

"So Sweetie, have you done that planet yet? What was it called? Ah Radha?"

"Oh no! But I was planning on going there, but thought this would be better!" The Doctor flinched, expecting to be slapped. His expectations weren't met however. He was a bit caught off guard considering when he didn't do something on time, River usually slapped him.

"I see…" River looked at him puzzled. "Something wrong Sweetie?"

The Doctor nearly blurted out "why haven't you slapped me?" but he caught himself just in time and shook his head instead shaking his head, "No. I'm good as gold."

"Ok…" Amy and Rory looked back and forth from him to River, but didn't comment anymore. Instead Rory took Amy's hand in his, "Why don't we go look around for a bit while these two sync their diaries?" Amy caught on and they left, walking off to go do a little sightseeing, promising to be back in half an hour.

The Doctor protested, but River quickly hushed him, "Let them be. We'll have plenty of time to spend with them. Besides, I think they're doing us a favor."

"Why would they need to do that?" The Time Lord was smart, but he sometimes missed some of the most vital things. It was easy to see the mistakes of others, but sometimes he missed his own mistakes, especially when it came to River. River was such a complicated person he simply didn't know how best to approach her, and she was good at hiding things from him.

River sighed and shook her head. He watched his beautiful wife looking at her with the most loving expression. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't hide how he felt about her, not completely at least. She simply brought out the best in him, no made him be his best. There wasn't anything he could keep secret because she knew him like a book. He was so enraptured with her, he missed her explanation and that's when he felt her hand come in to contact with his face.

"Were you listening to me?" River was furious now. She was quite scary when angered and it was obvious he hadn't been. As usual, the Time Lord stumbled over his words, making a fool of himself, but just as face as she got angry, she laughed. "Really, you should pay more attention to things. You're going to miss a vital detail that way and get in to trouble."

"I'll also use my wit and get myself out of trouble. I am the smartest being in the universe after all," He held his hands out wide, putting on his smug face. River merely snorted and nodded her head. "You're making the face again. I like when you make the face."

"Do shut up or I'll slap you." The Doctor took her hand in his and kissed it gently. "Oh now you put on the charm… I did miss you Sweetie." River said it so softly, but he still heard it. It didn't need to be said, but it felt so good to hear those words. For a moment all of time seemed to slow down for the two of them. So many emotions filled The Doctor's head and both his hearts that he thought he'd lose it and break down right there, but he held it together, just barely, but he always manages. As if she just knew, he felt her tugging on his arm as she stood, leading him away from the table down to a relatively private spot which overlooked a view of the beach. Taking a step closer, the two time travelers embraced each other, locking their lips in a passionate kiss, putting every emotion in to that act. As they parted for a moment he hears his lovely wife, the child of his TARDIS whisper "I'm sorry…" and he held her tighter and as close to him as possible. It broke his heart because he never once blamed her for anything. How could he?

"You've nothing to be sorry for, Sweetie." He kissed her again and tangled his fingers in wild blonde hair. He smiled and one little tear escaped his eyes, then another and soon he couldn't stop. River, his beloved wife, she brushed them all away and smiled. He softly whispered in her ear, "I am so happy to have you here, in my arms. I'm happy to spend time with you, and them. I don't know what I would do without you all."

As he took her hand in his and looked out in to the sunset her heard her reply, "I don't want you to know… We're not planning on going anywhere I can promise you that." The Doctor didn't say it; no he couldn't spoil that moment. In his heart he knew what fate awaited her; he was there, a younger version of him. When she was gone, he'd be a wreck, but he would have Amy and Rory to at least lean on, that is, if they wish to stay with him. He could only hope. All things must come to an end however and he knew that all too well. For now all he could do was to keep running to them before they faded from his life.

"Shall we get back before they miss us?" He took her hand and they met Rory and Amy just as they returned, arguing about something like usual. He heard Amy yell "stupid face" to Rory and saw the man rubbing the back of his head as he gave in to whatever it was Amy was yelling about and the Time Lord and his wife smiled to one another. It wasn't the perfect family, but they loved each other all the same. Perfect was over rated anyway; they loved their complicated life and wouldn't give it up for the world. Just as Amy got ready to yell The Doctor straightened his bow tie, "What do we do next? Something fun and exciting I hope."

Amy turned to him, "Well if you call thrown out of a store because Stupid Face here touched something fun, then yeah. I mean they picked us up and threw us out. We're on some kind of probation now…"

"You two always get in to trouble. I might as well go and sort it out now." The Doctor put his arms around Amy and Rory and River stood by Amy's side. He led the way and called back, "Come along Ponds!" as he went to go sort out whatever it was they had gotten in to. He knew that things would take time to repair themselves, but before they could truly get over whatever it was that kept River and him apart, he'd have to get her to talk to him. She was so secretive, he wished she would open up to him more, but he could understand why. He was aware that he relied on her to be his rock. He would have to show her he could return the favor. While he dealt with Amy and Rory's problem, he'd think of a way to convince his wife he could be there for her.

**I hope you enjoyed it. I'm going to be busy as I dream up the next chapter. Hopefully it won't be too long. I really didn't mean to go so long without updating! **


	8. Chapter 8

It's been only three days and already The Doctor was going mad. He was irritable and easily snapping on everyone. River was becoming just as ferocious and things were quickly deteriorating between the companions quickly. The Time Lord was well aware that he was the cause of the mess, but he couldn't stop his darker side from showing just ugly he could be. He felt a buildup of frustration that he simply could not find an outlet for and it was showing in his mannerisms. River and Amy however were at the heart of his outbursts. It wasn't fair and he certainly didn't take pride in it since they were his most precious of the three. Rory of course was precious to him, but he avoided and shrank back from him when he was going off. Rory, precious patient Rory, he was glad he at least had the good sense to leave him be and just take the insults and nasty things he said.

The time traveling alien found himself pacing impatiently in his room by himself. Everyone was down by the pool having fun and laughing, without him. It wasn't their fault that they were not including him. The Doctor did tell them that he wasn't going to participate in such frivolous activities. Perhaps it was the idea of staying in one place that was getting to him since the Time Lord craved movement, action and adventure.

The more he paced, the angrier he got. Truthfully the only reason he was on this planet was to give his Ponds the nice peaceful vacation they had been asking him for. He didn't and couldn't deny them something they wanted, but now he was being a royal arse and ruining it, which is usually what happens when he stops by. It was no small wonder he caught them all discussing the possibility of asking to leave and just go home. Speaking of that, it stabbed him right in the hearts that they'd even consider doing that and to discuss it right behind his back, but he didn't show any signs that he knew. Several times however, when an argument flared up, he wanted to scream at them that he could gladly drop them all off to their precious normal lives and get on with his, but the thought of losing his precious companions killed him inside.

With a sigh The Doctor decided to go and join them all in the fun. He owed it to them to be civil and he was going to try his hardest not to be so impatient and touchy. He was not going to be as Amy once put it "Mr. Grumpy Face." He started to strip away his tweed jacket and then the bow tie and braces. Next came off his dress shirt, changing in to a t-shirt and swimming trunks. As silly as it was, they of course had booties and fezzes on them. He grabbed a towel and dashed down to the pool. The pools were actually part of each room. It was incredibly nice that each room had a pool to go with it. Currently they were all in one of the public pools however but no one else was there, which was strange, but then again The Doctor had caused quite a sight earlier that day with River and Amy. Most likely they had scared them all away. Right now that was a good thing because he didn't need a big crowd and so he pulled the sliding door open and stepped out cause the Ponds to all freeze and grow quiet. Despite mentally telling himself to be nice he stared at them.

"What?"

"Nothing Sweetie," River gave him the nicest of smiles, but it didn't calm him down in the slightest. In fact it made him snappier.

"No, what? All I did was walk out here and you all get quiet. Am I not wanted? I can easily pop back up to my room." He crossed his arms and waited for their answer. River and Amy exchanged looks before Amy decided to try to talk to him.

"Doctor you are always welcome with us." Amy reached up to him, "Come on in Raggedy man. I want you here." She smiled when he took his hand. Her smile was infectious and he couldn't help smiling to. Amelia Pond always had the effect; he'd just been too grumpy and selfish to see it. For now at least things were cooling down. He laughed and splashed around with them, finally unwinding and doing something. River however was giving him a stare that was working on his nerves, but he could bear it long enough to spend some time with The Girl Who Waited and her Roman husband.

"How about a game of volleyball?" Rory said it more to River than to them, mostly because he was the most practical of them and was trying to save the moment. Good old Rory always knew how to keep things even for the most part.

"That sounds like a good idea Dad," River obviously caught on and so they took up sides, River and Rory on one side of the net and The Doctor and Amy on the other.

"I've never played this before. Is this the game where you hit that small green ball back and forth? Or this the one with that small paper thingy?" Amy looked at him and giggled.

"Doctor sometimes I forget you're an alien."

"What does that mean Pond?" The Doctor playfully splashed her.

Amy gave him a small slap and smiled, "Yeah you hit a ball back and forth, but it's a big white ball, not a small green one. Close enough though."

It was long before they started and they all found out that he is a bit of a clumsy person not that is anything new to them. He did fairly well, but River and Rory still won three out of the four games they played. In fact, playing the games help he work out some of his frustrations seeing as how he had to move and exert himself. It gave him something to do with his hands and it was fun to spend time with his Ponds. It was getting dark when they all climbed out of the pool and went to their respective rooms to shower and change in to some comfortable clothes and relax for the night. River was in the shower, having taken it first, not that he argued with her about it. She said she was going first and he let her. It bothered him that he just let her do things, but as Amy once again put it, she was all "heel boy".

What bothered him was their lack of physical connection. It was one of many things on his mind. Then again there was always something on The Doctor's mind. That Time Lord brain was always working, turning and spinning ideas in his head. Even when he was with his wife, the few times they did have sex, he didn't stop thinking. Though he did get "release" he never let himself go, he never lowered the barriers enough to really get that mind numbing pleasure, not that River was bad. River was grand in bed, the problem was all his, as it was with everything.

"You're thinking too hard Sweetie," River's seductive voice rang in his ear startling him out of his reverie. When did she come out of the bathroom? It was rare when he missed something, so he must have been quite a sight to see, standing there with an intense stare. Well he was according to Amy and Rory. "Why don't you go shower and we can do something together."

What River implied with that last part was lost on him. He stared at her but agreed and in a few minutes he was dressed in something comfortable and climbed on the bed next to her. River was intensely concentrating on a book when he joined her. Ever curious, he peeped over her shoulder, brushing a few strands of her blonde hair out of the way. The Doctor felt a shiver run through her and she immediately put the book down and turned to him, giving him a passionate and quite forceful kiss. It was quite the invitation and he began to take her up on it until she started to pull back, which was quite frustrating. The Time Lord merely thought his wife was being coy and teasing him, like she usually does. It wasn't uncommon for River to frustrate him by turning him down and acting as if she changed her mind and so he grabbed and began to shove her on to her back, taking control from her.

River pushed back against him and began to put up a bit more resistance. The Doctor pulled back, stopping to let out a frustrated sigh. He wanted this, wanted her badly, having missed her and ached for her in a way only she could soothe, but he could be patient. She kissed him, probably to soothe and placate him and give him a promise that he'd get what he wanted soon.

"Can we talk?" River watched him and he surmised that she was waiting for him to go off. Part of him did want to go off and just take what he wanted, but a more rational part of his regeneration said to wait and hear her out. The Doctor decided it was in his best interest to exercise patience and let her get whatever was bothering her off her chest. For once he wanted to be there for her and he hoped he would inspire her to be just a tiny bit more open with him. River was his wife and he wanted his impossible wife to let him and let him comfort her, even if it was just this once.

Gently the Time Lord wrapped his arms around her and kissed her. "What do you want to talk about?" River rested her head on his chest after the shifted positions so that he was on bottom and River was lying on top of him. He tangled one of his hands in her hair, "You can tell me things. Just for once my mad impossible wife, I want you to talk to me and not hide things from me. Hiding things is bad… It makes me angrier than if you just told me right out…"

River sighed and reached out, touching his hand. From his perspective, that was not a good thing. He looked his wife right in the eyes. River gave him a sweet smile and it was evident that she was trying to put it as gently as she could. "Sweetie, you've been so irritable… What is bothering you? You need to just talk about it. Share it with us, with me. That's what's bothering me. I fear that if you continue down the path you're going you'll push Amy, Rory, and me away because I only put up with so much. I don't even know how I've lasted this long without slapping you…"

Hearing River say that knocked the breath out of him. The Doctor must have had quite the expression because even she cringed as she looked at him, observing his reaction. Part of him, the ugly Time Lord in him felt the urge to slap her, to lay hands on her and before he could comprehend the gravity of his action, he did. The sound echoed more than usually, or maybe it was from the effect, the aftershock. River, his dear beloved wife looked at him like a deer caught in headlights. As the gravity dawned on him, The Doctor stumbled over his words in apology and prepared to slowly be killed. He reached out to touch her, and kiss her. For a second he thought she wouldn't let him, but she did. Mentally The Doctor began to crucify himself for having stooped so low. Was he going to be stuck in this vicious cycle, this rut forever?

"I am sorry," He managed to whisper in her ear, holding her close. "I am so sorry. I didn't mean to… River please don't be upset. Well, you have every right to be upset, but I wasn't thinking. I…" River kissed him silencing his train wreck of an apology. When she finally did pull away she held him down.

"Tell me what is bothering you Sweetie."

"It's too complicated…" The Time Lord looked away, avoiding it, holding back. The soft touch of his wife turned his head back to look in her eyes.

"And if you continue like this, you'll succeed in losing everything that you love." No doubt she could feel the increased beat of his Time Lord hearts. He was scared, properly scared at the thought of losing everything, but it was unavoidable because he was cursed to walk in eternity.

"I hate standing still. I don't like being here. I don't want to lose everything I love. I want you River, I need you…" One thing turned to another as she kissed him deeply, touching him, stripping him out of his clothes. Her touch began to calm him; her kisses reassured him that he was not alone.

"Just talk to us. Talk to Amy and Rory. I assure you they have no intentions of leaving you, even in your darkest moments." She kissed his jaw line and then his neck, eliciting a soft moan from him.

The Doctor touched her back in return, murmuring small endearments and his love for her in return, saying it as if it were an everyday occurrence. He eagerly shuddered as he stripped River out of her clothes and felt her moving against his rather large problem. It was all the invitation he need to escalate things. Their gentle touches and kisses soon grew wild with passion and a need to establish their connection and feel each other in a different way. River encouraged him on, despite the brief shake up from earlier. It was easy for her to see how much he regretted having struck her. He didn't hide his regret, stopping every so often to ask if she was really ok.

"Sweetie, if you keep asking I'm going to smack you. We both need this now concentrate." She took control from him becoming impatient. He didn't mind at this point, because he wanted to just be loved on. It was rare that he craved and needed something, or maybe it's the first time he allowed himself to. Either way, the Time Lord made his self comfortable, finally allowed himself to enjoy being the subject of River's affections and touches. She took him in her hands and stroked him, causing him to softly, but appreciatively moan out softly.

It wasn't long before he was begging for River, who quickly gave in to him, forgoing the usual teasing. She clung to him as they made that special connection. She softly said her love for him, again and as before, The Doctor responded and they made the most passionate and gentle loving which was unusual compared to their usual wild encounters when they happened. There was something drawing them together, a great need to feel each other's love and to say it. It had been so long since they last saw each other that they needed this to happen and were perfectly content when they both tumbled over the edge. The Doctor whispered something alien, something River had never heard before; at least he thought she hadn't given the sleepy, but puzzled look on her face.

"Sweetie?"

The Doctor smiled, "its Gallifreyan." River merely looked at him. He quickly caught himself, "It's something good… It roughly translates to 'you are dear to me.'".

"That's very nice… Just remember to talk to us about how you feel. Everyone knows that everyone dies or leaves. It's going to happen Sweetie… You're not the only one who worries about that. If you want to leave, we can leave. All of us Ponds are happy wherever our Doctor is and especially so in the TARDIS." Her light touch as she stroked his cheek reminded him of just how much love she held for him and her words shocked him. He always worried about impressing and making them happy, just as he thought they did for him. Stupid old Doctor missed that he didn't need to. His Ponds were happy no matter what and that made his hearts swell with so much pride and love. A smile, a genuine smile light up his face as he drifted off in to some much needed rest with his beloved psychopath by his side.

The next day they all met for breakfast. The Doctor bounded in to the room positively glowing. He smiled and wrapped his arms around Amy and Rory, "Good morning Ponds."

"Doctor…" Amy looked at him, a look which made his stomach flip and turn in to butterflies.

"Pond?"

"We were thinking of stopping back home. I mean we still need to pay our bills and other non-companion things…"

"Well I was getting a bit bored of being here anyway. Leadworth it is then!" The Time Lord packed up and led the way as they all made their way back to the TARDIS. River was keeping pace with him. She took his hand and gave him a knowing look.

"You know it won't be that long. They do have a life."

The Doctor snapped on her, not loudly, but more aggressive than he meant to be. "I am aware of that. I just, they're beginning to want to go home more and more… What if one day they grow up and no longer want to travel with me?"

River smiled, "Why don't you stay with them for a while?"

The Doctor snorted, "Me? In one place for an extended period of time?" River nodded. The idea was so foreign in his all-knowing Time Lord brain that he giggled at it. "I can't do it. It won't happen."

River gave up but pulled him along, "If you say Sweetie."

"What?"

"Spoilers."

**Alright. This turned out drastically different from I planned. The next chapter is already being thought up. So hopefully I'll update fast.**


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